“If you mean you think it is my job to go into the secret passage first, O Thorin Thrain’s son Oakenshield, may your beard grow ever longer,” he said crossly, “say so at once and have done!”

“When your wondering what to say, or how you look... just remember... she is already out with you. That means, she said yes, when she could've said no. That means she made a plan... when she could've just blown you off. So that means it is no longer you job to make her like you... It's is your job NOT TO MESS IT UP.”

“Fix that hair! Close that mind! Repeat after me! Page me the second the old man croaks it! Now, are you boys ready? A Seabrook boy is always ready. Ready to work. Ready to play. Ready to listen to his teachers, especially the greatest educator of them all, Jesus. as Jesus said to me once, Greg, what's your secret? And I said, Jesus--study your notes! Get to class! Shave that beard! You show up to your first day on the job dressed like a hippie, of course they're going to crucify you, I don't care whose son you are . . .”

“Where did you go to, if I may ask?' said Thorin to Gandalf as they rode along.To look ahead,' said he.And what brought you back in the nick of time?'Looking behind,' said he.”

“I think if you tell someone that you love him or her, (especially a person that once screamed, “I’m not gonna love you ever!”) and that person says “duh,” then I think that means you have done something right.”

“My father, Bobby Oates*, said that love at first sight should send you running, if you know what's good for you. It's your dark pieces having instant recognition with their dark pieces, he says. You're an idiot if you think it means you've met your soul mate. So I was an idiot. He looked so nice. He was so nice.”