“Experience, as we know, is deceptive: one judges the world through the prism of what has happened to oneself and considers this a just and reasonable approach, when in fact it is quite obviously the perfect tactic for never learning anything about anything.”

“When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous. We are timid only when there is something we can still cling to.”

“The Tea Party is a fitting representation of our era of no-debate, politically correct politics, where each political side has its own media, and opposing views are almost never given a fair hearing. Conservatives listen only to conservatives, and liberals listen only to liberals. People are spared the inconvenience of facts that don’t fit their beliefs and the unpleasantness of seriously considering a point of view other than their own.”

“You are no longer a weak, susceptible human. You are Shaede, deadly and cunning. Never bow to that mortal weakness again.”

“I can see that you’re down in the dumps, Unc. Shall we stop working and call Toni?”“And then what?”“I don’t know. But if it so happens that I’m more of your type . . . Would you like me to give you a blow job? That really does the trick when you’re feeling depressed.”

“What the hell was that supposed to mean anyway? I'm yours. My what? My slave, my guardian angel, my own personal pain in the ass?”

“Raif spared me the embarrassment of making me wear one of his Lord of the Rings outfits.”