“The road climbed into the mountains, Jonah taking the hairpin curves as fast as he dared."You look so macho clutching the door handle that way," he said to Hamilton."Just...be...careful," Hamilton said through clenched teeth.”

“You're a model? Never would have guessed," Jonah said in a lazy, teasing voice that caused Hamilton's head to swivel. He'd never seen Jonah flirt before.The girl tilted her head. The glossy hair spilled down one bare shoulder. "Un moment...you look familiar."Jonah grinned. "Yeah?""'Ave we met? Are you an 'airdresser?""A hairdresser?" Jonah choked out."Guys, we'd better get going," Hamilton said."The name is Jonah," Jonah said, pronuncing his name carefully. He waited for a sign of recognition."Nicole.""Jonah Wizard."Nicole squinted at him. "You are a wee-zhard? Like the Harry Potter, non?""I'm Hamilton," Hamilton said, even though nobody asked.”

“Yeah!" shouted Jonah, twirling the much larger Hamilton around the restaurant in a victory dance.The other diners watched in amazement. This wild display was hardly the public image of the too-cool-for-school Jonah Wizard."What's the matter?" Hamilton challenged. "Haven't you ever seen a happy rapper before?”

“Colonel Mickelson looks like he could defend Fort Hamilton by himself if Staten Island ever declared war and invaded...If Jack Nicholson looked like this when he yelled that Tom Cruise couldn't handle the truth, Cruise would have said, "Yes, you're right, I'm sorry. My bad.”

“Hamilton awkwardly folded himself into the passenger seat. "Couldn't you get something bigger?" he asked as he banged his knee against the dashboard."We're supposed to be a diversion," Jonah said. "Got to make an entrance. Can't do that in a minivan, Giganto Boy. Can't do much in a minivan except look about as uncool as it gets.""Hey! My dad drives a minivan.""Snap.”

“Jonah spoke what everyone was thinking. "Wouldn't it be Twilight Zone if the door was open, too?"Hamilton tried the knob. It didn't budge.Ian stepped forward and examined the lock. "Natalie's diary has better security than this." He produced a credit card and slipped it between the latch and the jamb. There was a click, and the door swung wide.”