“The misapprehension about gender performativity is this: that gender is a choice, or that gender is a role, or that gender is a construction that one puts on, as one puts on clothes in the morning, that there is a 'one' who is prior to this gender, a one who goes to the wardrobe of gender and decides with deliberation which gender it will be today.”

“As a result, gender is not to culture as sex is to nature; gender isalso the discursive/cultural means by which “sexed nature” or “a naturalsex” is produced and established as “prediscursive,” prior to culture,a politically neutral surface on which culture acts”

“Do we need recourse to a happier state before the law in order to maintain that contemporary gender relations and the punitive production of gender identities are oppressive?”

“Safe gender is being who and what we want to be when we want to be that, with no threat of censure or violence.Safe gender is going as far in any direction as we wish, With no threat to our health, or anyone else’s.Safe gender is not being pressured into passing, not Having to lie, not having to hide.Sane gender is asking questions about gender - talkingTo people who do gender, and opening up about ourGender histories and our gender desires.Sane gender is probably very, very funny.Consensual gender is respecting each others’ definitionOf gender, and respecting the wishes of some to be alone,And respecting the intentions of others to be inclusive inTheir own time.Consensual gender is non-violent in that it doesn’t forceIts way in on anyone.Consensual gender opens its arms and welcomes all People as gender outcasts - whoever is willing to admit it.”

“Marriage should be between a spouse and a spouse, not a gender and a gender.”

“Let's face it. We're undone by each other. And if we're not, we're missing something. If this seems so clearly the case with grief, it is only because it was already the case with desire. One does not always stay intact. It may be that one wants to, or does, but it may also be that despite one's best efforts, one is undone, in the face of the other, by the touch, by the scent, by the feel, by the prospect of the touch, by the memory of the feel. And so when we speak about my sexuality or my gender, as we do (and as we must), we mean something complicated by it. Neither of these is precisely a possession, but both are to be understood as modes of being dispossessed, ways of being for another, or, indeed, by virtue of another.”

“Guys as a gender have one giant collective delusion of grandeur.”