“Nobody believes that the man who says, 'Look, lady, you wanted equality,' to explain why he won't give up his seat to a pregnant woman carrying three grocery bags, a briefcase, and a toddler is seized with the symbolism of idealism.”

Judith Martin

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“She only maintains that it is possible, under some circumstances, for a lady to murder her husband; but that a woman who wears ankle-strap shoes and smokes on the street corner, though she may be a joy to all who know her and have devoted her life to charity, could never qualify as a lady.”


“DEAR MISS MANNERS:When does a gentleman offer his arm to a lady as they are walking down the street together?GENTLE READER:Strictly speaking, only when he can be practical assisstance to her. That is, when the way is steep, dark, crowded, or puddle-y. However, it is rather a cozy juxtapostion, less comprising than walking hand in hand, and rather enjoyable for people who are fond of each other, so Miss Manners allows some leeway in interpreting what is of practical assisstance. One wouldn't want a lady to feel unloved walking down the street, any more than one would want her to fall of the curb.”


“…women were brought up to have only one set of manners. A woman was either a lady or she wasn't, and we all know what the latter meant. Not even momentary lapses were allowed; there is no female equivalent of the boys-will-be-boys concept.”


“DEAR MISS MANNERS:I a tired of being treated like a child. My father says it's because I am a child--I am twelve-and-a-half years old--but it still isn't fair. If I go into a store to buy something, nobody pays any attention to me, or if they do, it's to say, "Leave that alone," "Don't touch that," although I haven't done anything. My money is as good as anybody's, but because I am younger, they feel they can be mean to me. It happens to me at home, too. My mother's friend who comes over after dinner sometimes, who doesn't have any children of her own and doesn't know what's what, likes to say to me, "Shouldn't you be in bed by now,dear?" when she doesn't even know what my bedtime is supposed to be. Is there any way I can make these people stop?GENTLE READER:Growing up is the best revenge.”


“DEAR MISS MANNERS:Should you tell your mother something if it is important when she is talking to company? I am six.GENTLE READER:Yes, you should (after saying "Excuse me"). Here are some of the things that are important to tell your mother, even though she is talking to company:"Mommy, the kitchen is full of smoke.""Daddy's calling from Tokyo.""Kristen fell out of her crib and I can't put her back.""There's a policeman at the door and he says he wants to talk to you.""I was just reaching for my ball, and the goldfish bowl fell over."Now, here are some things that are not important, so they can wait until your mother's company has gone home:"Mommy, I'm tired of playing blocks. What do I do now?""The ice-cream truck is coming down the street.""Can I give Kristen the rest of my applesauce?""I can't find my crayons.""When are we going to have lunch? I'm hungry.”


“The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes - naturally, no one wants to live any other way.”