“I also suspect that he loves you."Trying to suppress the anguished hope that flared in her heart, Lauren turned her face to the stained-glass window near their table. "What makes you think so?""To begin with, he isn't treating you the way he normally treats the women in his life.""I know that. He's nice to the others," Lauren said bitterly."Exactly!" Mary agreed. "He's always treated his women with an attitude of amused indulgence...of tolerant indifference. While an affair lasts he's attentive and charming. When a woman begins to bore him he courteously but firmly dismisses her from his life. Not once to my knowledge has any woman touched an emotion in him deeper than affection or desire. I've seen them try in the most inventive ways to make him jealous,yet he has reacted with nothing stronger than amusement, or occasionally exasperation. Which brings us to you."Lauren blushed at being correctly categorized with the other woen Nick had taken to bed,but she knew it was useless to deny it."You," Mary continued quietly, "have evoked genuine anger in him.He is furious with you and with himself. Yet he doesn't dismiss you fro his life; he doesn't even send you downstairs. Doesn't it seem odd to you that he won't let you work for Jim,and simply have you come upstairs to act as translator when Rossi's call finally comes through?""I think he's keeping me up there for revenge," Lauren said grimly."i think he is too.Perhaps he's trying to get back at you for what you're making him feel.Or possibly he's trying to find fault with you,so that he won't feel the way he does any longer. I don't know. Nick is a complex man. Jim, Ericka and I are all very close to him, and yet he keeps each one of us at a slight distance. There's a part of himself that he will not share with others, not even us.”

Judith McNaught

Judith McNaught - “I also suspect that he loves...” 1

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“Ricco will take care of you," he said. "Ricco thinks you are beautiful-he blushes when your name is mentioned."Ricco took their order and blushed when he put a glass of wine in front of Lauren. Mary's eyes twinkled, but when he left she looked directly at Lauren and said without preamble, "Would you like to talk about Nick?"Lauren choked on her wine. "Please,let's not ruin a lovely lunch. I already know more than enough about him.""What,for example?" Mary persisted gently."I know that he's an egotistical, arrogant, bad-tempered, dictatorial tyrant!""And you love him." It wasn't a question, it was a statement."Yes," Lauren said angrily.Mary was struggling obviously to hide her amusement at Lauren's tone. "I was certain that you did. I also suspect that he loves you.”

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“What possessed you?" Lauren demanded of Jim the next morning.He grinned. "Call it an uncontrollable impulse.""I call it insanity!" she burst out. "You can't imagine how furious he was.He called me names! I-I think he's insane.""He is," Jim agreed with complacent satisfaction. "He's insane about you. Mary thinks so too."Lauren rolled her eyes. "You're all insane. I have to work up there with him. How am I going to do that?"Jim chuckled. "Very,very cautiously," he advised.”

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“At five minutes to five,Jim walked into Mary's office, wearing his gray sweater and balancing four pieces of birthday cake on two plates. He put the plates down on Mary's empty desk and glanced at the doorway to Nick's office. "Where's Mary?" he asked."She left almost an hour ago," Lauren said. "She said to tell you that the nearest fire extinguisher is beside the elevators-whatever that means. I'll be right back.I have to take these letters in to Nick."As she got up and started around the desk, she was looking down at the letters in her hand,and what happened next stunned her into immobility. "I miss you,darling," Jim said, quickly pulling her into his arms.A moment later he released her so suddenly that Lauren staggered back a step. "Nick!" he said. "Look at the sweater Lauren gave me for my birthday. She made it herself.And I brought you a piece of my birthday cake-she made that too." Seemingly oblivious to Nick's thunderous countenance,he grinned and added, "I have to get back downstairs." To Lauren he said, "I'll see you later, love." And then he walked out.In a state of shock, Lauren stared at his retreating back.She was still staring after him when Nick spun her around to face him. "You viindictive little bitch,you gave him my sweater! What else has he gotten that belongs to me?""What else?" Lauren repeated, her voice rising. "What are you talking about?"His hands tightened. "Your delectiable body, my sweet.That's what I'm talking about."Lauren's amazement gave way to comprehension and then to fury. "How dare you call me names, you hypocrite!" she exploded, too incensed to be afraid. "Ever since I've known you, you've been telling me that there's nothing promiscuous about a woman satisfying her sexual desires with any man she pleases.And now-" she literally choked on her wrath "-and now,when you think I've done it,you call me a dirty name. You of all people-you,the United States contender for the bedroom Olympics!”

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“He turned over the application, and Lauren watched him scanning it, his gaze nearing the bottom where she had listed her job preferences. She knew the exact instant he spotted what she had written. "What the...!" he said, astonished, and then he burst out laughing. "Weatherby and I are going to have to be careful. Which of our jobs do you want most?""Neither," Lauren said shortly. "I did that because on my way to the interview at Sinco,I decided I didn't want to work there after all.""So you purposely flunked your tests,is that it?""That's it.""Lauren..." he began in a soft seductive voice that instantly put her on guard."I've had the dubious pleasure of reading through your file," she clarified, at his stunned look. "I know all about Bebe Leonardos and the French movie star.I even saw the picture of you that was taken with Ericka Moran the day after you sent me away because a "business aquaintance' was coming to see you.""And," he concluded evenly, "you were hurt.""I was disgusted," Lauren shot back, refusing to admit to any of the anguish she'd felt.”

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“Let's get it over with, so I can stop wondering. How many have there been?"Lauren stared at him."How many what?""Lovers," he clarified bitterly.She could hardly believe her ears. After treating her as if her standards of morality were childish, after acting as if promiscuity was a virtue, after telling her how man preferred experienced women, he was jealous. Because now he cared.Lauren didn't know whether to hit him, burst out laughing or hug him. Instead she decided to exact just a tiny bit of revenge for all the misery and uncertainty he had put her through. Turning,she walked over to the bar and reached for a bottle of white wine. "Why should the number make any difference?" she asked innocently. "You told me in Harbor Springs that men don't prize virginity anymore, that they don't expect or want a woman to be inexperienced.Right?""Right," he said grimly, glowering at the ice cubes in his glass."You also said," she continued, biting back a smile, "that women have the same physical desires men have,and that we have the right to satisfy them with whomever we wish.You were very emphatic about that-""Lauren," he warned in a low voice, "I asked you a simple question. I don't care what the answer is, I just want an answer so I can stop wondering. Tell me how many there were. Tell me if you liked the, if you didn't give a damn abou them,or if you did it to get even with me.Just tell me.I won't hold it against you."Like hell you wouldn't! Lauren thought happily as she struggled to uncork the bottle of wine. "Of course you won't hold it against me," she said lightly. "You specifically said-""I know what I said," he snapped tersely. "Now,how many?"She flicked a glance in his direction, implying that she was bewildered by his tone. "Only one."Angry regret flared in his eyes,and his body tensed as if he had just felt a physical blow. "Did you...care about him?""I thought I loved him at the time," Lauren said brightly, twisting the corkscrew deeper into the cork."All right.Let's forget him," Nick said curtly. He finally noticed her efforts with the wine bottle and walked over to help her."Are you going to be able to forget him?" Lauren asked, admiring the ease with which he managed the stubborn cork."I will...after a while.""What do you mean,after a while? You said there was nothing promiscuous about a woman satisfying her biological-""I know what I said,dammit!""Then why do you look so angry? You didn't lie to me,did you?""I didn't lie," he said, slamming the bottle onto the bar and reaching for a glass from the cabinet. "I believed it at the time.""Why?" she goaded."Because it was convenient to believe it," he bit out. "I was not in love with you then."Lauren loved him more at that moment than ever. "Would you like me to tell you about him?""No," he said coldly.Her eyes twinkled, but she backed a cautious step out of his reach. "You would have approved of him. He was tall, dark, and handsome, like you. Very elegant,sophisticated and experienced. He wore down my resistence in two days,and-""Dammit, stop it!" Nick grated in genuine fury."His name is John."Nick braced both hands on the liguor cabinet,his back to her. "I do not want to hear this!""John Nicholas Sinclair," Lauren clarified.”

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