“Some days are like that. Even in Australia.”

“I think I'll move to Australia.”

“I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.”

“I had it together on Sunday.By Monday at noon it had cracked.On Tuesday debrisWas descending on me.And by Wednesday no part was intact.On Thursday I picked up some pieces.On Friday I picked up the rest.By Saturday, late,It was almost set straight.And on Sunday the world was impressedWith how well I had got it together.”

“Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.”

“If his mother was drowning and I was drowning and he had to choose one of us to save, He says he'd save me.”

“It is true love because when he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the middle of the street, I always hope he’s dead.”