“Milk?” Lady Bridgerton asked.“Thank you,” Gareth replied. “No sugar, if you please.”“Hyacinth takes hers with three,” Gregory said, reaching for a piece of shortbread.“Why,” Hyacinth ground out, “would he care?”“Well,” Gregory replied, taking a bite and chewing, “he is your special friend.”

“I understand that you are an accomplished swords-man,” she finally said.He eyed her curiously. Where was she going with this? “I like to fence, yes,” he replied.“I have always wanted to learn.”“Good God,” Gregory grunted.“I would be quite good at it,” she protested.“I’m sure you would,” her brother replied, “which is why you should never be allowed within thirty feet of a sword.” He turned to Gareth. “She’s quite diabolical.”“Yes, I’d noticed,” Gareth murmured, deciding that maybe there might be a bit more to Hyacinth’s brother than he had thought.Gregory shrugged, reaching for a piece of shortbread. “It’s probably why we can’t seem to get her married off.”“Gregory!” This came from Hyacinth, but that was only because Lady Bridgerton had excused herself and followed one of the footmen into the hall.“It’s a compliment!” Gregory protested. “Haven’t you waited your entire life for me to agree that you’re smarter than any of the poor fools who have attempted to court you?”“You might find it difficult to believe,” Hyacinth shot back, “but I haven’t been going to bed each night thinking to myself—Oh, I do wish my brother would offer me something that passes for a compliment in his twisted mind.”

“Well,” he said with an affected sigh, “you have my approval, at least.”“Why?” Hyacinth asked suspiciously.“It would be an excellent match,” he continued. “If nothing else, think of the children.”She knew she’d regret it, but still she had to ask. “What children?”He grinned. “The lovely lithping children you could have together. Garethhhh and Hyathinthhhh. Hyathinth and Gareth. And the thublime Thinclair tots.”Hyacinth stared at him like he was an idiot.Which he was, she was quite certain of it.She shook her head. “How on earth Mother managed to give birth to seven perfectly normal children and one freak is beyond me.""Thith way to the nurthery.” Gregory laughed as sheheaded back into the room. “With the thcrumptious littleTharah and Thamuel Thinclair. Oh, yeth, and don’t forgetwee little Thuthannah!”

“I’m not trying to impress you,” he replied, glancing up at the front of the room. “Gads,” he said, blinking in surprise. “What is that ?”Hyacinth followed his gaze. Several of the Pleinsworth progeny, one of whom appeared to be costumed as a shepherdess, were milling about.“Now that’s an interesting coincidence,” Gareth murmured.“It might be time to start bleating,” she agreed.“I thought this was meant to be a poetry recitation.”Hyacinth grimaced and shook her head. “An unexpected change to the program, I’m afraid.”“From iambic pentameter to Little Bo Peep?” he asked doubtfully. “It does seem a stretch.”Hyacinth gave him a rueful look. “I think there will still be iambic pentameter.”His mouth fell open. “From Peep?”She nodded, holding up the program that had been resting in her lap. “It’s an original composition,” she said, as if that would explain everything. “By Harriet Pleinsworth.The Shepherdess, the Unicorn, and Henry VIII .”“All of them? At once?”“I’m not jesting,” she said, shaking her head.“Of course not. Even you couldn’t have made this up.”Hyacinth decided to take that as a compliment.“Why didn’t I receive one of these?” he asked, taking the program from her.“I believe it was decided not to hand them out to the gentlemen,” Hyacinth said, glancing about the room. “One has to admire Lady Pleinsworth’s foresight, actually. You’d surely flee if you knew what was in store for you.”

“Gareth turned to Gregory. “Your sister will be safewith me,” he said. “I give you my vow.”“Oh, I have no worries on that score,” Gregory saidwith a bland smile. “The real question is—will you besafe with her?”It was a good thing, Gareth later reflected, that Hyacinthhad already quit the room to fetch her coat and hermaid. She probably would have killed her brother on thespot.”

“Charlotte Stokehurst,” Violet Bridgerton announced, “is getting married.”“Today?” Hyacinth queried, taking off her gloves.Her mother gave her a look. “She has become engaged. Her mother told me this morning.”Hyacinth looked around. “Were you waiting for me in the hall?”“To the Earl of Renton,” Violet added. “Renton.”“Have we any tea?” Hyacinth asked. “I walked all the way home, and I’m thirsty.”“Renton!” Violet exclaimed, looking about ready to throw up her hands in despair. “Did you hear me?”“Renton,” Hyacinth said obligingly. “He has fat ankles.”“He’s—” Violet stopped short. “Why were you looking at his ankles?”