“The two of you together are a menace,” Penelope remarked.“My aim in life,” Lady Danbury announced, “is to be amenace to as great a number of people as possible, so Ishall take that as the highest of compliments, Mrs.Bridgerton.”“Why is it,” Penelope wondered, “that you only call meMrs. Bridgerton when you are opining in a grand fashion?”“Sounds better that way,” Lady D said, punctuating herremark with a loud thump of her cane.”

“He turned to her. “Didn’t you see the lightning strike the steeple?”She recovered with a sip of tea, then smiled sweetly. “I was listening too devotedly to the sermon.”“Claptrap last week,” Lady D announced. “I think the priest is getting old.”Gareth opened his mouth, but before he could say a word, his grandmother’s cane swung around in a remarkably steady horizontal arc. “Don’t,” she warned, “make a comment beginning with the words, ‘Coming from you…’”“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he demurred.“Of course you would,” she stated. “You wouldn’t be my grandson if you wouldn’t.” She turned to Hyacinth. “Don’t you agree?”To her credit, Hyacinth folded her hands in her lap and said, “Surely there is no right answer to that question.”“Smart girl,” Lady D said approvingly.“I learn from the master.”Lady Danbury beamed.”

“Eloise,” Penelope said, somewhat breathless from trying to shake offHyacinth.“Penelope.” But Eloise’s voice sounded curious. Which did notsurprise Penelope; Eloise was no fool, and she was well aware that herbrother’s normal modes of behavior did not include beatific smiles in herdirection.“Eloise,” Hyacinth said, for no reason Penelope could deduce.“Hyacinth.”Penelope turned to her husband. “Colin.”He looked amused. “Penelope. Hyacinth.”Hyacinth grinned. “Colin.” And then: “Sir Phillip.”“Ladies.” Sir Phillip, it seemed, favored brevity.“Stop!” Eloise burst out. “What is going on?”“A recitation of our Christian names, apparently,” Hyacinth said.”

“Honoria couldn’t help but watch her make her way over toDaisy, and Mr. Bridgerton said, “Don’t worry, she’s mostlyharmless.”“My cousin Daisy?” she asked dubiously.“No,” he replied, momentarily nonplussed. “Lady Danbury.”Honoria looked past him to Daisy and Lady Danbury. “Is shedeaf?”“Your cousin Daisy?”“No, Lady Danbury.”“I don’t believe so.”“Oh.” Honoria winced. “That’s too bad. She might be by thetime Daisy is through with her.“That’s not going to end well,” he murmured.Honoria could do nothing but shake her head and murmur,“No.”“Is your cousin fond of her toes?”Honoria blinked in confusion. “I believe so, yes.”“She’ll want to watch that cane, then.”Honoria looked back just in time to see Daisy let out a smallshriek as she tried to jump back. She was not successful with thelatter; Lady Danbury’s cane had her pinned rather firmly.”

“Perriwickturned to Penelope as he set the tray down on a table. "If I might be so bold, my lady-""Perriwick!" Blake roared. "If I hear the phrase 'if I might be so bold' one more time, as God is mywitness, I'm going to toss you into the channel!""Oh dear," Penelope said. "Perhaps he does have the fever, after all.Perriwick , what do you think?"The butler reached for Blake's forehead, only to have his hand nearly bitten off. "Touch me and die,"Blake snarled.”

“‘If you want to know if a gentleman loves you,’ her mother said, ‘there is only one true way to be sure.’”Lady Danbury leaned forward. Even Hyacinth leaned forward, and she was holding the book.“‘It’s in his kiss,’ her mother whispered. ‘It’s all there, in his kiss.’”

“Iris was interrupted by a resounding crash. Or not exactly acrash. More like a splintering sound. With a few pops. And twangs.“What was that?” Iris asked.“I don’t know.” Honoria craned her neck. “It sounded like—”“Oh, Honoria!” they heard Daisy shriek. “Your violin!”“What?” Honoria walked slowly toward the commotion, notquite able to put two and two together.“Oh, my heavens,” Iris said abruptly, her hand coming to hermouth. She lay a restraining hand on Honoria, as if to say—It’sbetter if you don’t look.“What is going on? I—” Honoria’s jaw went slack.“Lady Honoria!” Lady Danbury barked. “So sorry about yourviolin.”Honoria only blinked, staring down at the mangled remains ofher instrument. “What? How . . . ?”Lady Danbury shook her head with what Honoria suspectedwas exaggerated regret. “I have no idea. The cane, you know. Imust have knocked it off the table.”Honoria felt her mouth opening and closing, but no sound wasemerging. Her violin didn’t look as if it had been knocked off atable. Honestly, Honoria was at a loss as to how it could have gotinto such a state. It was absolutely wrecked. Every string hadsnapped, pieces of wood were completely detached, and the chinrest was nowhere to be seen.Clearly, it had been trampled by an elephant.”