“Then I should be able to say anything I want, right? Even the word ‘penis’?”Laney sighed. “Do we have to do this right now?”You should try saying the word sometime.”I’ll pass, thank you.”Payton shrugged. “Your choice, but I think you’d find it liberating. Everybody could use a good ‘penis’ now and then.”Laney glanced nervously around the coffee shop. “People are listening.”Sorry—you’re right. Good rule of thumb: if you’re gonna throw out a ‘penis’ in a public place, it should be soft. Otherwise it attracts too much attention.”The woman at the next table gaped at them.”

“And you can just stop that right now, too." "Stop what?" "That," Io pointed at his crotch, "You're getting all bulgy, and I resent your penis's implication that I'm doing something to arouse you. Unless you're some sort of weirdo who gets off by women saying the word 'penis' which is frankly kinda sad.”

“Yeah, listen you should really stop now, because I’m betting on the smartest thing that ever could come out of your mouth is a penis.”

“In the business world, what’sthe female equivalent of going golfing with a client?”Laney gave this some thought. Payton fell silent, too, contemplating. After a few moments, neither of them could come up with anything.How depressing.Payton sighed, feigning resignation. “Well, that’s it. I guess I’ll just have to sleep with them.”Laney folded her hands primly on the table. “I think I’m uncomfortable with this conversation.”

“People always ask me if I’m into sports, and I say, “Well, isn’t writing a sport? If you’re doing it right, and you have a deadline, you should be sweating.”

“My penis burns. I guess I should stop trying to put out forest fires with it.”