“I would kiss you, cat,” Puck said as we crowded through the doorway, “if we weren’t in such a hurry. Also, the hairballs could be unpleasant.”

“I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.”

“Do you know why I like dogs and not cats? Because whenyou’re talking to dogs, they don’t walk away in order to rimthemselves.~Austin to Cai's cat Begone Cai's, also known as the "fucking hairball with the crazies.”

“When I said you weren’t getting kissed tonight, I meant it. But dammit, Sky. I had no idea how fucking difficult you would make it.”

“Apples are kissing other apples. Gray cats are kissing other gray cats. Trees are kissing trees. You and I are not kissing. We work in an office together. We are both married to other people. It is okay because we only have ideas, you and I, about whether we should kiss or not. These ideas are both good and bad, probably. At work, we do not say these words aloud but make elaborate diagrams for one another. You write these words: Kissing you would be like this, and draw a picture of two butterflies being struck by lightning. I stare at it and wonder if you may be right. I do my own drawing and write, Kissing you would be like this, and sketch a picture of a man made of ice kissing a woman who is actually a stove. We have made hundreds of these drawings. We do not actually do any work.”

“I know I was the one who left," he continued, still staring at the wall. "I said we were enemies and that we couldn't be together. I knew it would break your heart, but...I also knew Puck would be there to pick up the pieces. Whatever came of that, I brought on myself. I know I have no right to ask...”