“Yeah, Mom, Ethan’s turned into a monster and my best friend thinks he’s a faery. How was your day?”

“Sometimes I think he’s the kind of friend that grownups call a ‘fair-weather friend.’ That means when everything’s going smoothly, he’s the best friend a guy could want. But as soon as something goes wrong…(he) sort of turns on you.”

“He’s like my best friend. And I say that only because I have no real friends, and Cap’n is a great listener (he never interrupts when I’m talking—and I’m always the one doing all the talking). The day he does respond to me will probably be the best day of my life, because it means my walls are finally padded.”

“In the darkest days, the Lord puts the best people into your life.” – Augustus’ Mom”

“Yeah, well. You're my best friend, you know, and I love you.”

“After all, the monsters think you're the delicious one.""Smart monsters. I am tasty.""Says who?""Don't believe me? See for yourself.""Yeah? How?""Bite me.”