“Can I just say that dying sucks? All that bullshit about seeing the light and having this inner peace, blah, blah, blah. It's crap.”

“He's still blabbing about how much he hates Mark Watts and now sucky he is at basketball (Who cares?),which I interpret as Blah,blah,kill me now, blah, blah, my life is over, blah, blah, blah.”

“Light our fire and protect us from the dark, blah blah, light our way and keep us toasty warm, the night is dark and full of terrors, save us from the scary things, and blah blah blah some more.”

“No, I wanna go kick puppies," she retorted.”

“I love it when my justifications for avoiding housework are actually legitimate. ”

“They served "Good Food" but only a G, an O and a D were lit up. Personally, I doubted God dined there. Unless God was keen on samonella poisoning and rat droppings in the hamburgers. But then again, what did I know?”

“Distract him? What the hell was I supposed to do? Strip naked and do the hula?”