“I love it when my justifications for avoiding housework are actually legitimate. ”

“What? Look at my newly mutilated flesh? Screw you!”

“No, I wanna go kick puppies," she retorted.”

“They served "Good Food" but only a G, an O and a D were lit up. Personally, I doubted God dined there. Unless God was keen on samonella poisoning and rat droppings in the hamburgers. But then again, what did I know?”

“Distract him? What the hell was I supposed to do? Strip naked and do the hula?”

“They weren't wearing their handy-dandy I'm an Evil Demon T-shirts; nevertheless, I could tell they were coming for me.”

“Can I just say that dying sucks? All that bullshit about seeing the light and having this inner peace, blah, blah, blah. It's crap.”