“What? Look at my newly mutilated flesh? Screw you!”

“My flesh began to singe as if I were a scrap of meat newly thrown onto the barbecue, and then i could hear the bubbling of my skin as the flames kissed it.”

“Veal! Trust these bloated plutocrats to eat the flesh of poor, newly-born calves!”

“There, that's better. Now you look like the wild scrub that fell into my life.""Because you loosened the vent's screws.""Best. Decision. Ever.”

“What are you doing, Avery?”I held up my bottle. “Drinking. What are you doing?”His icy blue eyes narrowed. “That’s not what I’m getting at and you know that. What are you doing?”Damn. Hello attitude. I tried to give Cam the bitch look Steph had mastered, screwing my face up until I’m sure I looked like I was having a seizure. I sighed and gave up.”

“My eyes change color depending on my mood and what I’m wearing. If I’m wearing an acorn brown shirt, my eyes look like squirrel fur. And if I’m wearing no shirt at all, my eyes look more nude and flesh-colored. I guess my ex girlfriend, Zelda, said it best when her friend asked her what I look like and she said: “He looks like you’d imagine him to look like, if you had no imagination.”