“What do we have here? Is my super-hot assassin boyfriend freaked out by clowns?”

“I wondered what the FML post would look like."Today, when my father tried to shoot me, I found out he was an assassin monger who's been keeping my mom locked away in a secret facility for freaky killers. FML." Seriously. F.M.L.”

“Poking his head back through the bars, he kissed me. Not a quick peck on the cheek, either. No, kisses from Kale were enough to make a porn star blush.Just part of the awesome that was my boyfriend.My über hot, strangely innocent-yet-could-kill-you-with-a-bar-of-soap boyfriend.”

“Wow!" Fin let out a sharp whistle. "You look hot, Dez. You can raid my tomb whenever you'd like.”

“What can I do? She's here to help Kale.""Sure she is. And I'm Ke$ha.”

“„This is what people do here?”„It's a little more complicated than that.”„Everything seems complicated here,” he grumbled.„That"s life,” I laughed. „Life is complicated.”„And that's good?”I nodded. „That's good.”

“It was a shame I couldn't go public with my ability. Girls found immortality hot, right? Slap on a pair of fangs and add some glitter and I could probably hook up with my choice of rabid Twilight fangirls.”