“Eventually my dad got home from work and set his briefcase down.'So. How was practice?' he asked'It was good. Why? Did you hear it wasn't?' I said, trying to keep my cool.'Son, no offense, but you play Little League. It's not the Yankees. I don't get daily reports about who's hitting the shit out of the ball”

“Got my shit together” Definition: I’ve learned how to play it cool. I’ve got some ideas worked out.”

“To tell you the truth, I prefer just your average, run-of-the-mill, everyday jackass with his glass-eyed, slack-jawed obliviousness to the guys who try to hijack my cool by reading poetry and listening to halfway-good music. I worked hard for my cool. I got my ass kicked in middle school for my cool. I came by this shit honestly.”

“How did Terrible Teddy’s face get like that?”“Me.”“You hit him?”“He touched you, you said it hurt. I found him and beat the shit out of him.”Oh… my… God.”

“Don't worry about it. He's just moody because it's been about nine months since he's gotten laid, and he thinks I'm going to get some tonight."I almost choked on the pancakes.Oz put his hand on his belly and looked down. "Don't make that face." He tried unsuccessfully to keep himself from laughing. "I know it's not happening. Besides, I don't you well enough yet. You could be scary."I forced the uncooperative bite of pancake down my throat. "You think I'm scary?" I squealed. "I hope you realize this is coming from the guy who said he wasn't human.”

“Something occurred to me, and I sat up to face him. "Earlier, I asked you if you brought the guitar everywhere," I said, "and you got kind of wierd. Why? It's not like you're one of those jerks who always has a guitar but can't actually play it." "Don't you know?" "No." He grinned. "Everyone knows that the whole point of learning guitar is to impress girls. You can't just say, 'sorry, I'd love to show off, but I forgot my guitar at home,' can you?" Now it was my turn to laugh. "I guess not." "So now you know my secret," he said. "Did it work?" I pretended to think about it. "Yeah, it worked.”