“On My First Driving Lesson “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?…Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that’s not moving makes you an asshole.”

“First things first has always been my motto, mostly because it makes absolutely no sense - after all, if first things were second or third, they wouldn't be first things, would they? Still, cliches exist to comfort the feeble minded, not to provide any actual meaning.”

“Good. Now the first thing you do is press in the clutch and slide the gear into reverse."She placed his hand on the gear shift in the center of her car, and showed him how to move it up and down."You know, you really shouldn't fondle that in front of me, Grace. It's cruel.""Julian! Do you mind? I'm only trying to show you how to shift my gears."He snorted. "I wish you'd shift my gears like that.”

“It's the twenty-first century." I told Tank. "Women drive.""Only in my bed," Tank said. "Never in my car.”

“Betrayal. That’s the first thing I feel, which is ludicrous. For there to be betrayal, there would have had to been trust first.”

“I’d like to make the argument that The Cars were the first garage band.”