“Well, if pirates are bad,And vampires are worse,Then I pray that as long as I beThat though I sing of VampiratesI never one shall see.Yea, if pirates are dangerAnd vampires are death,I'll extend my prayer for thee-That thine eyes never see a Vampirate...and they never lay a hand on thee”

“i’ll tell you a tale of Vampirates,a tale as old as true.Yea, I’ll sing you a song of an ancient ship,that sails the ocean blue...That haunts the ocean blue.the Vampirate ship has tattered sails,that flap like wings in flight.They say that the Captain, he wears a veil,so as to curtail your fright.At his death pale skin,and his lifeless eyes,and his teeth sharp as night.Oh, they say that the Captain, he wears a veil,and his eyes never see the light.you better be good child- good as gold.As good as good can be.Else I’ll tell you to the in to the vampirates,and wave you out to sea.Yes, you’d better be good child- good as gold,because- lookཀ can you see?,There’s a dark ship in the harbor tonight.And there’s room in the hold for thee.(Plenty of room for thee.)Well if pirates are bad.And vampires are worse.Then I pray, that as long as I be,that though I sing of Vampirates,I never one shall I see.Yea, if Pirates are danger,and Vampirates are death,I’ll extend my prayer for thee-that thine eyes never see a Vampirate......and they never lay a hand on thee.”

“And shall I pray Thee change Thy will, my Father,Until it be according unto mine?But, no, Lord, no, that never shall be, ratherI pray Thee blend my human will with Thine.I pray Thee hush the hurrying, eager longing,I pray Thee soothe the pangs of keen desire—See in my quiet places, wishes thronging—Forbid them, Lord, purge, though it be with fire.”

“I saw thee ne'er before;I see thee never more;But love, and help, and pain, beautiful one,Have made thee mine, till all my years are done.”

“Important safety tip - never look a vampire in the eye.”

“If you lay one hand on Simon, vampire, I'll have you chopped up into tiny pieces and fed to my cat. Understand?”