“Who’s the bigger liar?Me or them?Isn’t lying about love the worst lie? Isn’t that worse than anything I’ve ever done?”

“My father is a liar and so am I.But I’m going to stop. I have to stop.I will tell you my story and I will tell it straight. No lies, no omissions.That’s my promise.This time I truly mean it.”

“Really, according to the shrinks, I am angry at everyone ever. Especially them.I am all anger and resentment all the time.Not one of them has ever suggested that maybe I lie because the world is better the way I tell it.”

“‘Expect the best, but prepare for the worst.’ I'm good at the first part, crap at the second.”

“I love that everyone's into sports, that no one even talks about loving it 'cause it's too obvious. It's the air we breathe.”

“That was what magic was: greed. Magic wielders didn't wield magic; it wielded them”

“He didn't mean to corner me, but when you're as tall and wide as he is and I'm as little as I am, merely standing beside me constitutes menacement.”