“We're gonna be late for English, and I gotta take these pantyhose off on the way. I'm gettin' a serious wedgie.”

“Okay. So...serious wedgie...”

“I don’t think that taking off my eye patch would increase my night vision by 100%, but it would go a long way towards relieving my wedgie.”

“We're on our own. An I feel calm. It seems crazy . . . but I'm calm. Because now I see what I gotta do. An what I ain't gotta do, which is waste time thinkin that anybody's gonna help us. That somebody's gonna come along an rescue us. I cain't count on nobody but me.”

“Waylon said it best when he sang to Willy; 'If you see me gettin' smaller, I'm leavin' don't be grievin', just gotta get away from here. If you see me gettin' smaller, don't worry, I'm in no hurry I've got the right to disappear.”

“I know I'm not funny. I mean, let's face it, I'm no Groucho Marx. But if you're a guy, and you're watching late night television, are you gonna start jacking off to Groucho? I don't think so!”