“Nobody said anything that time. Or maybe I just wasn’t listening. After all, someone had to keep an eye on the fridge.”

“Before I left, I just wanted to say . . . thank you.” It came out a little strangled. I thought about it for a moment. “You’re welcome?” “Do you know what I’m thanking you for?” Damn. I’d hoped he wouldn’t ask that. It couldn’t be for lunch, since we’d never had any. And I guessed we wouldn’t now, what with a possessed fridge and all. “No?” I said, figuring I had a fifty-fifty shot.”

“I thought there was a good chance the fridge was possessed. It was subtle about it, but I had its number. I knew its ways. Oh yes.”

“Pritkin gave me a little shake and I eyed him without favor. The only other occasions when I had been dragged back in time, the trip had been triggered by proximity to a person whose past was being threatened. I have to tell you,” I said frankly, “if someone is trying to mess with your conception or something, I’m not feeling a pressing need to intervene.”

“Damn it, the man needed a keeper. Yeah, sure he did. A dark-haired, dimpled, dhampir keeper, which wasn’t going to happen, so just shut up. Sometimes I didn’t think it mattered what Mircea did in my head, because I was already crazy anyway. “It’s like someone invented you just to mess with me,” I said resentfully. “Quoi?” I sighed.”

“you gotta think it’s a waste of—” “Ray!” I glanced around, but there was nobody within earshot. “Well, excuse me if I’m not used to buying condoms for aliens,” he said more softly. “They’re not aliens.” “Well, they’re not human. I mean, they could have anything under those tunics, you know?”

“I felt rather than heard someone come up behind me and I didn’t have to wonder who. My vagina had just gotten a heartbeat.”