“They’ll have to eat first. And by the time they’re finished, you’ll be back.” “With the condoms.” “Right.” “For the giant orgy you’re convinced we’re about to have in the backyard.” “Dory! Just go!” “I’ll go with,” Ray said, getting up. “I need a snack.” Which was how I ended up condom shopping with a vampire.”

“Never talk to them when they’re human, or they’ll trick you. You’ll get confused and sympathetic. That was what his mom always said. She was probably right. Last time he talked to a werewolf, he ended up dating her.”

“Have you ever heard of a condom? Don't Carpathians have condoms? Because I'm thinking that if you're all that worried, a condom might be just the thing." His smile was slow in coming. "I had not thought of that. As a rule Carpathians do not need such things.”

“It’s going to be all right. You’re going to be all right. She’s going to leave. You don’t have to worry about her again. I won’t let any vampire hurt you. I can do this. I’ll stay big, and make sure no one hurts you again. It’ll be okay. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

“You’ll kiss me after I rim you.” Wade sat up a little so he could stare me down. “But a used condom on the floor you have a problem with?”

“you gotta think it’s a waste of—” “Ray!” I glanced around, but there was nobody within earshot. “Well, excuse me if I’m not used to buying condoms for aliens,” he said more softly. “They’re not aliens.” “Well, they’re not human. I mean, they could have anything under those tunics, you know?”