“You must lose, at least once, in order to fully appreciate a win!”

“Every author these days is an award-winning novelist. Why? Because they set up an award contest and they dub themselves the winner.”

“I don't know what I'd do if for some reason I was no longer able to write. Commit murder, perhaps. At the very least, torture and mayhem.”

“To call you my critic is to call you my friend.”

“How can you think it's cool when he calls you his bitch, but then get upset when he treats you like a dog?”

“No, I'm not in a bad mood. Why do you ask? You think I need to be in a bad mood to let you know I think you're an idiot?”

“If you have to call the police on your man, then you'd better choices. If not, what have you taught him? Better him in jail this time rather than you in the morgue the next time.”