“There are few things less stylish than a boring, self absorbed twit...”

“Mr. Twit was a twit. He was born a twit. And, now at the age of sixty, he was a bigger twit than ever.”

“There is nothing more irreligious than self-absorbed religion.”

“He knows she’s his daughter, twit. (Artemis)Twit? Moi? The Simi? Why, I do believe the bitch-goddess has done gone and gotten herself confused. She thinks she’s me, not that I blame her. All women want to be me because of my beautoneousness and the fact that I have such stylish clothing and sparklies. But believe me, I ain’t no heifer-goddess. (Simi)”

“There are few things less comforting than a tiger who's been up too late.”

“All of this made me feel better about myself, and I was grateful to the books for teaching me-without my even having to read them- that there were people in the world more desperate, more self-absorbed, more boring than I was. - about memoirs”