“Church Parking Only.Violaters will be baptized.”

“The Baptist Church rejects man with wooden leg: It appears the Baptist preacher refused to baptize a veteran of the late war in the holy water- saying they only baptize flesh and blood, not wood.”

“Trinity Park lies directly across from the library, Trinity Church rising like a midieval thought amidst the glass and steel towers.”

“You can wake up every day looking forward to new adventures with hope smiling brightly before you because you have a Savior. You are baptized in His Church.... You just need to stay in, pressing forward with a brightness of hope to your heavenly home.”

“I was astonished to learn in one of these best-selling books (on church life) that the size of my church parking lot had far more to do with how things fared in my congregation than my choice of texts in preaching. I was being lied to and I knew it.”

“As Livia parked her in the lobby, Bea offered a suggestion with her gentle hug. “You might want to go back and close those church doors. Fumigating is best done in private.”