“Oh we both have screws loose. Just fucking look at us, Dex! We're in the mountains trying to find Sasquatch and we're arguing over the llama formerly known as Twatwaffle.”

“I feel kind of bad for calling him Twatwaffle now.”“You should feel bad,” I yelled. “For all we know, Twatwaffle saved our lives and maybe Mitch did too. There’s obviously something out here. Who the fuck decapitates a llama?”“I’m sure this particular llama was on many a hit list.”

“Oh, I had no fucking idea what I was thinking about. All booze plus no meds makes Dex a crazy boy.”

“And you and Dex?”“What about us?” …“What’s the deal with you?”“There is no deal. We’re just partners.”“Are you sure? Because we all have bets on whether you guys are banging each other or not.”

“Oh, Dex,”Rebecca chided from beside me, bringing me back to reality. “Put your shirt back on. Are you trying to turn me straight or something?”

“Hello?” Bird’s stoic voice answered. “Hi, Bird?” This is Dex Foray, we met back in Red Fox last October…”“Dex,” he pronounced my name slowly. “I knew it was you.”“Oh,” I said, taken aback. Shit, maybe he was more new agey than I thought. “Could you sense me?”“No, I have caller ID”

“Twatwaffling she-devil”