“Who the hell is Old Roddy?” I said angrily. I was sick of feeling like I wasn’t being told the whole story. Dex was silent. I shined my light in his face, causing him to squint harshly.“If you don’t know then I don’t have time to explain,” he sneered in the brightness. He eyed my hand on his bicep. I didn’t let go. “Make time,” I said.”

“I don’t want to say this,” he says, “but I feel like I have to. It is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?”His straight eyebrows are drawn low over his eyes. My stomach writhes, partly because I know he makes a good point but I don’t want to admit it, and partly because I want something I don’t know how to express; I want to press against the space between us until it disappears.I nod.“But please, when you see an opportunity…” He presses his hand to my cheek, cold and strong, and tilts my head up so I have to look at him. His eyes glint. They look almost predatory. “Ruin them.”

“It’s me,” he said, and cleared his throat. “I could understand if you didn’t believe me, but I swear on the Angel, Iz, it’s me.” Alec said nothing, but his grip on Jace’s hand tightened. “You don’t need to swear,” he said, and with his free hand touched the parabatai rune near his collarbone. “I know. I can feel it. I don’t feel like I’m missing a part of me anymore.”“I felt it too.” Jace took a ragged breath. “Something missing. I felt it, even with Sebastian, but I didn’t know what it was I was missing. But it was you. My parabatai.”

“I didn’t know what to say to that. I just stared at him. He was right, of course he was right, but… “I can’t do my job like this.” “No,” he said, “you can’t.” Then suddenly I felt the first tear slide down my face. “No crying,” he said. Another tear joined the first. I fought not to wipe at them. His hand dropped to his side and he took a deep breath. “That’s not fair. Don’t cry.” “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to, but you’re right, I think. I’m pregnant, damn it, not crippled.”

“I can’t stand this, Pigeon. I feel like I’m going crazy.”I threw out my hands and let them hit my thighs. “You can’t stand what?”“If you sleep with him, I don’t wanna know about it. I’ll go to prison for a long time if I find out he...just don’t tell me.”

“I was not staring at you,” he told his plate. I leaned over. “Did you hear that, Dingane’s lunch? He was not staring at you.”He looked up at me crossly. “I was not staring at you.”“I never said you were.” “I was merely explaining that Henry was exaggerating. I did not stare at you.”“Okay,” I stated, implying in my tone that he had done just that.“I didn’t. I-I wasn’t.” “I believe you,” I told him“I may have looked at you a few times to make sure you were doing your job.”“Oh, I see then.”“But I certainly wasn’t staring.”“We’ve established that you were not staring.”He breathed deeply a few times, his eyes burning into mine. “Good.”He’d definitely been staring.”