“A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.”

“There is no more unhappy being under the sun than a fetishist who pines for a boot and has to content himself with an entire woman.”

“Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.”

“A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.”

“I have to do this, as long as it is at all possible; for if those who are obliged to look after commas had always made sure they were in the right place, then Shanghai would not be burning.”

“Quien calla una palabra es su dueño; quien la pronuncia es su esclavo.”

“In Berlin, things are serious but not hopeless. In Vienna, they are hopeless but not serious.”