“I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up.”

“I have to do this, as long as it is at all possible; for if those who are obliged to look after commas had always made sure they were in the right place, then Shanghai would not be burning.”

“My language is the common prostitute that I turn into a virgin.”

“To be sure, the dog is loyal. But why, on that account, should we take him as an example? He is loyal to man, not to other dogs. ”

“Quien calla una palabra es su dueño; quien la pronuncia es su esclavo.”

“Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.”

“In Berlin, things are serious but not hopeless. In Vienna, they are hopeless but not serious.”