“There is no more unhappy being under the sun than a fetishist who pines for a boot and has to content himself with an entire woman.”

“A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.”

“Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.”

“A weak man has doubts before a decision; a strong man has them afterwards.”

“A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.”

“War: first, one hopes to win; then one expects the enemy to lose; then, one is satisfied that he too is suffering; in the end, one is surprised that everyone has lost.”

“I have to do this, as long as it is at all possible; for if those who are obliged to look after commas had always made sure they were in the right place, then Shanghai would not be burning.”