“To be sure, the dog is loyal. But why, on that account, should we take him as an example? He is loyal to man, not to other dogs. ”

“Jealousy is a dog's bark which attracts thieves.”

“Chastity always takes its toll. In some it produces pimples; in others, sex laws.”

“A weak man has doubts before a decision; a strong man has them afterwards.”

“I have to do this, as long as it is at all possible; for if those who are obliged to look after commas had always made sure they were in the right place, then Shanghai would not be burning.”

“Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work.”

“I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up.”