“I miss Cindy McCain - she seemed so life-like.I'm a moderate lesbian - I only hold a grudge for six generations.Step away from your e-vehicle.Email is a depressant.The patriarchy is so Dada.We've got homomentum!America was built by affirmative action - for white men.If they want gay people to stop having sex, let them get married.I'm on a single prayer health plan: please god, don't let me get sick.Taser them with love.”

“I told him I didn't want to have sex until I got married. Without missing a beat, he nodded and said, "So let's get married.”

“Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people...but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.”

“I seem to remember sitting on a golden bench, and she started chattering about the sunset, or something. She seemed quite happy so I let her get on with it. Then she got hold of my hand and asked me what I was thinking about. So I said, "The treatment of anal fistulae".”

“Straight people get married so that they can have sex. Gay men have sex so that they can get friends. ”

“The only thing for it is to use men for sex and never let any of them get so close they could hurt you.”