“When I was feeling more secure, I started to see his insecurities. Aren't relationships like that? It's like being on a seesaw. There are those precious moments when you're just even with each other, but you move through that, and then one person being down by definition means the other person is up. I knew he loved me, and I knew he was afraid. I discovered that, if you look, you can actually see everything. All you have to do is clear away your own fears. The things you think are so well hidden: we can all see them. That's the secret. Everyone can see everything.”
“I think you should celebrate whenever you can. Take that momentary feeling of being lucky, that feeling of being on the right track, and enjoy it. It won't last.”
“The thought gave me reassurance for a split-second - until I saw the danger in it. The power to make me feel better also gave her the power to hurt me. With love came fear. It's like sun and shadow. How do you separate them?”
“So you keep running after the things you want, because you think they will satisfy you - and you truly do think that in the past they gave you satisfaction. But the satisfaction itself, the real feeling of it, somehow slips the net. It's anticipated and remembered but almost never experienced.”
“You see, that's who you are, Joe. All these things. That's the person I know, and through him is the way you'll know me, because connected to all these things are moments, and for so many of them, I was there. And that's the thing that hurts so much...You see, you were the only person who knew everything. Because you were there. You were my witness. And you make sense of the fucked-up mess I become every now and then. And I could at least look at you and think, at least he knows why I am the way I am. There were reasons. But I can't do that anymore and I feel so lonely.”
“Luce closed her eyes,trying to remember exactly what he'd looked like. There were no words for it.It was just an incredible, joyous connection."I saw him.""Who,Daniel? Yeah,I saw him,too. He was the guy who dropped the ax when it was his turn to do the chopping. Big mistake. Huge.""No,I really saw him. As he truly is." Her voice shook. "He was so beautiful.""Oh,that." Bill tossed his head, annoyed."I recognized him.I think I've seen him before.""Doubt it." Bill coughed. "That was the first and last time you'll be able to see him like that.You saw him, and then you died.That's what happens when mortal flesh looks upon an angel's unbridled glory. Instant death. Burned away by the angel's beauty.""No,it wasn't like that.""You saw what happened to everyone else. Poof. Gone." Bill plopped down beside her and patted her knee. "Why do you think the Mayans started doing sacrifices by fire after that? A neighboring tribe discovered the charred remains and had to explain it somehow.""Yes,they burst into flames right away. But I lasted longer-""A couple of extra seconds? When you were turned away? Congratulations.""You're wrong.And I know I've seen that before.""You've seen his wings before, maybe.But Daniel shedding his human guise and showing you his true form as an angel? Kills you every time.""No." Luce shook her head. "You're saying he can never show me who he really is?"Bill shrugged. "Not without vaporizing you and everyone around you.Why do you think Daniel's so cautious about kissing you all the time? His glory shines pretty damn bright when you two get hot and heavy."Luce felt like she could barely hold herself up. "That's why I sometimes die when we kiss?""How 'bout a round of applause for the girl, folks?" Bill said snarkily. "But what about all those other times, when I die before we kiss, before-""Before you even have a chance to see how toxic your relationship might become?""Shut up.""Honestly,how many times do you have to see the same story line before you realize nothing is ever going to change?""Something has changed," Luce said. "That's why I'm on this journey, that's why I'm still alive. If I could just see him again-all of him-I know I could handle it.""You don't get it." Bill's voice was rising. "You're talking about this whole thing in very mortal times." As he grew more agitated,spit flew from his lips. "This is the big time,and you clearly cannot handle it.""Why are you so angry all of a sudden?""Because! Because." He paced the ledge, gnashing his teeth. "Listen to me: Daniel slipped up this once, he showed himself,but he never does that again.Never.He learned his lesson. Now you've learned one,too: Mortal flesh cannot gaze upon an angel's true form without dying.”
“Luce: "But what about all those other times, when I die before we kiss, before--" Bill: "Before you even have a chance to see how toxic your relationship might become?”