“I highly recommend cleanliness. It pleases women and annoys men, which are two excellent ways to get on in society.”

“Madam, I assure you that you are dealing with two gentleman of the highest propriety and social standing.When one contemplates the deeds that are daily done in society's name, such a description is no high recommendation.”

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

“It was this feminine conspiracy which made Southern society so pleasant. Women knew that a land where men were contented, uncontradicted ans safe in possession of unpunctured vanity was likely to be a very pleasant place for women to live. So, from the cradle to the grave, women strove to make men pleased with themselves, and the satisfied men repaid lavishly with gallantry and adoration. In fact, men willingly gave ladies everything in the world except credit for having intelligence.”

“These days, it seems like you can't throw a fish in a bookstore without hitting a high-stakes love triangle--not that I recommend the throwing of fish in bookstores, mind you, as it certainly annoys the booksellers, not to mention the fish...”

“Children, I highly recommend them.”