“The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.”

“Apparently, the easiest way to overcome any awkwardness of speaking about sex is to sterilize it and outsource it to the professionals.”

“You have to be objective about money to use it fairly. It doesn't make you any better or any more useful than any other person. Even if you use your money to help people...that doesn't make you better than somebody who has no money but is sympathetic and genuinely loving to fellow human beings.”

“If your parents didn’t have any children, there is a good chance that you won’t have any.”

“You must learn to spend your money wisely...The main thing is not to have too much money to spend. This I have always found bewildering and a sure pathway to extravagance and foolishness. You only need to look about you among the unhappy members of the sporting set to see what happens when there is too much loose money in the bank.”

“We go to school so that when we grow up we can make lots of money, and we make lots of money so we can provide for our children, and we have children to provide for our retirement (because we don’t have any money left).”