“No. I'm not buying a shirt."I could buy you a shirt."I don't need you to buy me a shirt."Mercedes pulled him over to the nice GQ-dude who worked the department. "Tell him he needs a new shirt."I don't need a new shirt."Sir, you need a new shirt.”

“- I like my shirts.- It's plaid.- There are no rules for shirts. Plaid is good.- Plaid is bad. Although, if you went with a Scottish plaid in wool, it might be okay.- I'm not dressing like some damned highlander, Mercedes.- And the lumberjack look is okay?- You don't like my shirt?”

“I think you'll make a great Congressman, Sam Porter. The people of New York couldn't ask for anything better.New Jersey."What do you mean, New Jersey?"I live in Jersey. That's my home state."But what about people of New York? Don't we deserve honest representatives, too?" It was one thing when he was going to be her Congressman, but he was going to be someone else's Congressman, not hers?New York has good representatives."But not as good as you, Sam. We deserve the best."Move to Jersey.”

“If I haven't put that on a T-shirt, I'm going to. Actually, I really don't want to write anything that can't be put on a T-shirt. Actually I'd like to write only on T-shirts. Actually, I'd like to write whole novels on T-shirts. So you guys could say, 'I'm wearing chapter 8 of Lestat's new book, that's my favorite; oh I see you're wearing chapter 6-”

“I asked him did he really love New York or was he just wearing the shirt. He smiled, like he was nervous. I could tell he didn't understand, which made me feel guilty for speaking English, for some reason. I pointed at his shirt. "Do? You? Really? Love? New York?" He said, "New York?" I said, "Your. Shirt." He looked at his shirt. I pointed at the N and said "New," and the Y and said "York." He looked confused or embarrassed, or surprised, or maybe even mad. I couldn't tell what he was feeling, because I couldn't speak the language of his feelings. "I not know was New York. In Chinese, ny mean 'you.' Thought was 'I love you.'" It was then that I noticed the "I♥NY" poster on the wall, and the "I♥NY" flag over the door, and the "I♥NY" dishtowels, and the "I♥NY" lunchbox on the kitchen table. I asked him, "Well, then why do you love everybody so much?”

“DON’T GO BUYING TROUBLE.IT’S FREE AND IT KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE.—T-SHIRT”

“Baby, where we're going, you won't need a shirt.”