“Minny,” I say last Sunday, “why Bertrina ask me to pray for her?”Minny say, “Rumor is you got some kind a power prayer, gets better results than just the regular variety.”

“Minny: "Eat my shit."Hilly: "Excuse me?"Minny: "I said eat...my...shit."Hilly: "Have you lost your mind?"Minny: "No ma'am, but you about to, cause you just did."*Minny eyes the pie*Hilly: "Did...What?"*Minny eyes pie again, Missus Walters gasping and laughing, Hilly eyes pie then gags and runs off*Missus Walters: "And you didn't just eat one, you ate TWO slices!"*Minny runs off*Missus Walters: "RUN, MINNY, RUUN!!"*She says this while laughing*”

“I never once heard her say she gone leave Leroy, and Minny don't say things twice. When she do things, they done the first time.”

“I cut the ribbon in Paris, and everyone in Paris speaks French — maybe you knew that. But I'm from Tennessee, and Tennessee girls don't speak French. So suddenly I'm stuck onstage with Minnie and Mickey and everyone is yelling at me in French — I guess they're telling me to get off the stage, but I didn't know what they were saying at the time, so I start dancing with Minnie and Mickey like on the show and finally my aunt comes and gets me off.”

“You planning top kill me with a Wiffle bat?" [Carson asked]"Yeah.""Why?" he asked.The bat was shaking in my tight grip. "Because I don't have my Minnie Mouse pillow.”

“Minny: "Isn't Mister Johnny gonna wonder how the foods so good?"Celia: "You're right..."*silence*Celia: "Maybe we should burn the chicken a little...?"Minny: "...Minny don't burn chicken.”