“The day your child says she hates you, and every child will go through the phase, it kicks like a foot in the stomach.”

“So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, realize that your life, just like a developing child's, has phases--and now you're in the mommy phase.”

“Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.”

“Okay, Troy...you're right. I'll take care of your baby for you...cause...like you say...she's innocent...and you can't visit the sins of the father upon the child. A motherless child has got a hard time. From right now...this child got a mother. But you a womanless man.”

“You will be so happy you didn't get pregnant. Because this child will fill your life so full of love that you will thank God every day that somehow it was just meant to be. She was meant to be yours.”

“Much of the control exerted by the caregiver is accomplished through being indirect, such as implying expectations. The caregiver may tell the child what the child feels and thinks, particularly when he or she is upset or angry. "You don't really feel that way, do you?" is a phrase heard often in the families of people with a compressed structure. Statements like, "You want to play the piano for Aunt Martha, don't you?" are used to get the child to do what the caregiver wants without directly asking the child what he wants or not leaving the child any room to say no. The caregiver may act in a way that assumes the child feels as the caregiver feels, as if the child were an extension of the caregiver, by saying, for example, "I'm cold, put on your sweater." Children growing up in this situation become so well attuned to the feelings and will of the caregiver that the caregiver may eventually need only to shiver a little for the child to go to get a sweater for both of them.”