“If he wants breakfast in bed, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.”

“When you've been around as long as me, Lucy, you'll know that there are three types of sex... One - brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two - bedroom sex. Then number three - hallway sex, when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'Fuck you.'" - Lockie”

“living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirts”

“I blame Mother Nature two-faced bitch and Father Time bloody bastard .Yep those misogynistic killjoys have cut off my pocket money and left me grounded.With those two authoritarian heavyweights ganging up what chance does a woman have I aks you”

“Well if manners maketh man make-up maketh woman.And we don't need a phalanx of behavioural scientists to explain why man judge women by their looks.Because the see bether than thay think.”

“Как да убиеш съпруга си и други домакински съвети”

“People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.”