“BASTARD, the voice screamed in my mind. That f*cking bastard! He knows what he did to me! He knows what he took, and he expects me to testify for him? Because of my love for Will, he’s using me like I’m just a pawn in his game. My chest tightened. But this isn’t about him, remember? It’s about the boy you love who holds you right now. It’s about protecting everything you hold sacred. I”

“Never ask me about Jon; he is my blood and that is all you need to know! Ned was different. He brought his bastard home, and called him son.”

“It’s weird, isn’t it?”“What is?”“Treaties and all that. It’s like we woke up one morning and we weren’t supposed to be enemies anymore. It’ll take some getting used to.”“True,” I said. “I think it’s really cool though.”“Unfortunately, not everyone agrees.”I thought of my grandfather and what he would do if he could see me now. “I know. But it’s worth protecting.”“Yes,” he said, and something about the way he was looking at me made me think he was talking specifically about me. “It is.”

“I look up, and he’s searching my eyes, just like he did after kissing me for the first time in the rain. “What are you looking for?”He doesn’t answer.He doesn’t need to.I know what he wants.And it’s not fair.“Just because we’re the only two teenagers on this whole ship doesn’t mean I have to love you. Why can’t I have a choice? Options?”Elder steps back, stung.“Look, it’s not that I don’t like you,” I say quickly, reaching for him. He jerks away. “It’s just…”“Just what?” he growls.Just that if I was back on Earth instead of on this damn ship, if I had met Elder at school or at a club or on a blind date, if I had my choice between Elder and every other boy in the world…Would I love him then?Would he love me?Love without choice isn’t love at all.“Just that I don’t want to be with you just because there’s no one else.” [p.57-58]”

“Sometimes when we were hiding behind the breakers with the crowd, he'd hold me so tight, I'd think he's not just holding me, he's holding onto me, like I'm stopping him from falling off. I'd see him looking at me and his eyes were so full of...I dunno. Like he was about to cry. And, it's stupid, I know, but I think maybe he's hurting because he loves me and I don't love him, and this great lump used to come up into my throat and I'd hold him tight and try and squeeze him as tight as I could and try as hard as I could to fall in love with him the way he loved me.And then other times I'd think, it's just the way his face is that makes him look like that.”

“There is a place for what my heart tells me about you, and there is no shame or guilt in it. God Himself is free to look in my heart right this instant and I know He would not shame or admonish me about what He would see there because the pure, ego-less truth of how I hold you in my heart deserves to be kept alive.”