“But in the same token, I wondered how I was still standing. Why wasn’t I six feet under from the shock of what had happened? How was I living, breathing, and lying like nothing had happened? Part of me might have been living, but the other part of me wished I was dead. I shuddered at the thought. I closed my eyes and pressed myself closer to Will. For the first time all morning, I felt safe.”

“Part of me tingled with excitement. This was it. I was finally going to be with Will. We were going to make love for the first time—after all this time. But the voices of doubt mocked me. What do you think you’re doing? You can’t give yourself to him—you’ve already been had! And by his father. I reached the landing of the stairs and squeezed my eyes shut, desperately battling the raging war in my mind. If I’m with Will, it can erase the past. Our love is powerful enough to take the rape away. I truly believed I could delude myself into accepting he was my first—that what happened in Coach T’s office was false. Yes, once we were together, it would change."--Melanie”

“No, it’s more like once I lie. I’ll only be a part of the team if I lie. I can only keep Will if I lie. I can only keep my sanity if I lie"---Melanie”

“I didn’t know what it meant to have a nervous breakdown. I’d heard people jokingly exaggerate that they’d had one. Until that moment on my bathroom floor, I had no concept. Then the frayed strands of my sanity that I’d fought so hard to keep together snapped in two, and I started to free fall into chaos. First, I screamed. I screamed and I screamed until I was hoarse. Then my screams turned over to cries of agony. Pain, both physical and emotional, consumed me. Will tried to console me, but it was useless. He panicked and called my parents.When they heard my sobs in the background, they told him to call the paramedics. So he did. By the time they arrived, I was spent of emotions. Instead, I lay motionless on the floor. They were a hazy blur of blue uniforms and soft voices. I could hear them calling my name from far off—like I was under the surface of water. But I couldn’t muster the strength to reply. I heard crying behind me. It must’ve been Will because one of the paramedics said, “Don’t worry, son, we’re gonna take good care of her.” Then I felt myself floating upwards as they put me on a gurney. I rattled and shook as they pulled me out of the house. The flashing lights hurt my eyes. But then a needle pierced my vein, bringing liquid peace to my soul."--Melanie”

“Frozen, I stood staring at him like he was a vision or something. His hair was still damp, and a few droplets glistened on his face. When he caught me, warmth burned across my cheeks.“Were you just ogling me, Angel?”“No, I wasn’t.”He chuckled. “I think you were.”I whirled around and swept my hands to my hips. “Fine I was ogling you. Happy now?”“Actually I am. I like it when you look at me like you want me. Like you think I’m… handsome.”My brows rose in surprise. “Handsome? That doesn’t sound like the way you would describe yourself.”With a grin, he asked, “And just how would I describe myself?”“Hmm, sexy, hot as hell, and panty melting?” I challenged as I handed him a Coke.“Yeah, you’re right. Those really describe me better.”

“You really have the nerve to stand there and ask me that?” When he didn’t respond, I practically growled as I took a step towards him. “You blow so hot and cold with me that I’m not sure which way is up. It’s a wonder I don’t need a chiropractor from your emotional whiplash. One minute you’re telling me you want a girl like me to be interested in you and the next you’re coyly asking how I feel about Garrett.” Finally toe to toe, I glared up at him. “You’re really good at charming the panties off girls at ten paces, but you can’t even tell a girl how you really feel when she’s up close and personal!”

“There came a shrill beep followed by another message. “Listen bitch! You better stop lying about Coach T. If you don’t, you’re gonna find yourself in a world of hurt! It’s real hard to screw up people’s lives when you’re dead!”With trembling hands, I turned the machine off. I didn’t want to hear anymore. Name calling was one thing, but now my life had been threatened. Mom never came in that night, and I never went to sleep. I sat in the middle of my bed with her loaded .45 by my side until morning."---Jordan”