“Part of me tingled with excitement. This was it. I was finally going to be with Will. We were going to make love for the first time—after all this time. But the voices of doubt mocked me. What do you think you’re doing? You can’t give yourself to him—you’ve already been had! And by his father. I reached the landing of the stairs and squeezed my eyes shut, desperately battling the raging war in my mind. If I’m with Will, it can erase the past. Our love is powerful enough to take the rape away. I truly believed I could delude myself into accepting he was my first—that what happened in Coach T’s office was false. Yes, once we were together, it would change."--Melanie”

“But then a revelation came crashing down on me. The harshness of it was so fierce I was the one trembling instead of Melanie. My memory flashed back to her Monday night in the parking lot with her messed up hair and smeared makeup. They weren’t willingly hitting it in his office. He hadn’t turned me away that night because he had been with someone. Oh, no, it was much worse than that. I stared at her in disbelief. He had screwed her—the panties were proof of that. But it wasn’t by her consent…he had truly raped her. I gasped. “Oh my God!” My mind shattered with the thoughts of what he had done. To his star…to his son’s girlfriend. It was too much. I slammed back against the sink and shook my head. “He raped you, didn’t he?”Her eyes widened in horror. “NO!” she screamed.”

“But in the same token, I wondered how I was still standing. Why wasn’t I six feet under from the shock of what had happened? How was I living, breathing, and lying like nothing had happened? Part of me might have been living, but the other part of me wished I was dead. I shuddered at the thought. I closed my eyes and pressed myself closer to Will. For the first time all morning, I felt safe.”

“Frozen, I stood staring at him like he was a vision or something. His hair was still damp, and a few droplets glistened on his face. When he caught me, warmth burned across my cheeks.“Were you just ogling me, Angel?”“No, I wasn’t.”He chuckled. “I think you were.”I whirled around and swept my hands to my hips. “Fine I was ogling you. Happy now?”“Actually I am. I like it when you look at me like you want me. Like you think I’m… handsome.”My brows rose in surprise. “Handsome? That doesn’t sound like the way you would describe yourself.”With a grin, he asked, “And just how would I describe myself?”“Hmm, sexy, hot as hell, and panty melting?” I challenged as I handed him a Coke.“Yeah, you’re right. Those really describe me better.”

“BASTARD, the voice screamed in my mind. That f*cking bastard! He knows what he did to me! He knows what he took, and he expects me to testify for him? Because of my love for Will, he’s using me like I’m just a pawn in his game. My chest tightened. But this isn’t about him, remember? It’s about the boy you love who holds you right now. It’s about protecting everything you hold sacred. I”

“You’re unbelievable,” I snapped.“I’m yours.”That socked me in the gut too, so hard it winded me and all I could do was stare up at him. Taking advantage, his face dipped close and his hands curled around both sides of my head.“First fuckin’ time you smiled at me in my bed, that’s when it happened,” he murmured. “You’re under my skin. I’m under yours.”I shook my head and his face got even closer, all I could see were his sky blue eyes, all I could feel were his lips a breath away from mine.“I like you there, buddy, and you like me there too.”

“I didn’t know what it meant to have a nervous breakdown. I’d heard people jokingly exaggerate that they’d had one. Until that moment on my bathroom floor, I had no concept. Then the frayed strands of my sanity that I’d fought so hard to keep together snapped in two, and I started to free fall into chaos. First, I screamed. I screamed and I screamed until I was hoarse. Then my screams turned over to cries of agony. Pain, both physical and emotional, consumed me. Will tried to console me, but it was useless. He panicked and called my parents.When they heard my sobs in the background, they told him to call the paramedics. So he did. By the time they arrived, I was spent of emotions. Instead, I lay motionless on the floor. They were a hazy blur of blue uniforms and soft voices. I could hear them calling my name from far off—like I was under the surface of water. But I couldn’t muster the strength to reply. I heard crying behind me. It must’ve been Will because one of the paramedics said, “Don’t worry, son, we’re gonna take good care of her.” Then I felt myself floating upwards as they put me on a gurney. I rattled and shook as they pulled me out of the house. The flashing lights hurt my eyes. But then a needle pierced my vein, bringing liquid peace to my soul."--Melanie”