“Live a little," she tells me. "You're never going to experience anything if you wait around for perfect conditions.”

“Why go out looking perfect and put together? It means you didn’t experience anything. You didn’t take any risks.”

“It's dying," I say. "When the center is exposed like that, it doesn't have a chance.""But it's beautiful," she points out, I stare at the shriveling cactus and try to see the beauty in it."That's the way I want to go out," she decides."What?" I ask. "Torn up and ripped open?"She shakes her head. "Totally exposed, with no regrets. You can tell this cactus lived; it has the battle scars to prove it. Why go out looking perfect and put together? It means you didn't experience anything. You didn't take any risks.”

“I'm learning it's human nature to want the things you can't have. What changes is how you go about pursuing the things you want. When you're a little kid and you're told no, you scream and throw a temper tantrum. When you're a teenager and your parents tell you no, you're old enough to internalize your temper tantrum. But you're smarter and you're sneakier this time around. So you nod and act like you care when they say no, when they tell you who you can be friends with, when they say they know what's best. But then you go behind their backs to do it anyway. Because at some point, you need to start calling the shots. At some point, you have to start believing that you know what's best. Or...you just stop asking for their permission in the first place.”

“But I'm learning it's human nature to want the things you can't have. What changes is how you go about pursuing the things you want. When you're a little kid and you're told no, you scream and throw a temper tantrum. When you're a teenager and your parents tell you no, you're old enough to internalize your temper tantrum. But you're smarter and you're sneakier this time around. So you nod and act like you care when they say no, when they tell you who you can be friends with, when they say the know what's best. But then you go behind their backs to do it anyway. Because at some point, you need to start calling the shots. At some point, you need to start believing you know whats best. Or, I thought with a smile, you just stop asking for their permission in the first place.”

“Youcan see all of this online. But that's cheating. No computer programcan compare to the physical experience. It's like learning how toplay a virtual sports game. You're not really playing anything,against anyone. You're just a spectator. People are becomingspectators of their own lives instead of living them. But the best partis getting in the game. That's when it's all worth it.”

“If you're lucky enough to fall in love with someone, then forget about your imperfections. Because in their eyes, you're perfect. You won't get anywhere in life until you let go of your stupid ego.”