“Honest to god, Clare, you act like the dress is more important than you being shot!”Of course it is! It’s a Versace, you idiot! Bring help! I’m going to save this dress at all costs.” - Sam to Clare”

“I should warn you, I’m an expert on vampires. I’ve seen every episode made of Buffy, Angel, and Forever Knight, so don’t think a little fang-flashing is going to scare me.” – Nell to AdrianOh, my God! You bit me on the leg! You drank my blood! I am not an appetizer!” You are much more then an appetizer. You are a twelve-course banquet. – Nell & AdrianI slid my tongue around the glossy enamel of his teeth, pausing to stroke down the length of an elongated canine tooth.Yeah. I know. How stupid is it to French kiss a vampire and not expect sharp teeth? – Nell”

“And now?" I touched Baltic's cheek, drawing his attention away from tragic memories. "Is he being coldly mad now?""No. I thought at first he was, but I see now that the act of being raised as a shade has changed him, leached the madness out of him."Behind us, present-day Constantine yelled, "You call me a douche canoe? I am not the douche canoe -- you are. No, you are more than that -- you are a douche speed-boat!""Most of the madness," Baltic qualified.”

“...didn't want you to think that I looked at you as nothing more than an orgasm machine.”

“I tried to avoid looking at the dress full on, lest it burn out my retinas with its glittering hideousness. ”

“I'm your Beloved, dammit! You're going to let me save your soul, and like it!”

“He says he had to go help someone in a desperate situation. Who,exactly, he refuses to say. He doesn’t know when he’s going to be back, but suggests we putoff the wedding for a few days. The rotter! How dare he just zoom off and not tell me wherehe’s going, or who he’s going to help, or what exactly he’s up to!”Yeah, how dare he go out and be all heroic and stuff when you want him here slobberingover your big boobs.”