“I can just imagine what the humidity has done to my hair. I'm going to meet your family looking like a poodle with a live wire shoved up its butt." - Paige Winterbourne”

“looks like i'm gonna do everything myselfmaybe i could use some help but hell,you want something done right you gotta do it yourselfmaybe life is up and down but my life's been (what?)till now i crawled up your butt somehow and that'swhen things got turned around i used to be alivenow i feel pathetic and now i get it what's done is done you just leave it aloneand don't regret it but sometimes,some things turn into dumb thingsand that's when you put your foot down.why did i have to go and meet somebody like you (like you)why did you have to go and hurt somebody like me (like me)how could you do somebody like that?(like that) hope you know that i'm never coming back (never coming back)”

“He's like that with everybody. Don't take it personally. Some people were just born with a pinecone shoved up their butts. In Cooper's case, it's lodged sideways.”

“I'll be right behind you"behind her? Thirty-two steps with him looking at her butt?"No, you wont.""Look, it's late, i'm tired, can we just-""it'll be a cold day in hell when you follow me up those steps. You want to go up, you go first.""Why?" he said mystified"you're not looking at my rear end all the way up that hill."Cal sighed and took the first step. "wait a minute. Now you'll be looking at my butt all the way up the steps.""yes but you probably have a great butt," Min said. "it's an entirely different dynamic.”

“I see ridiculous stories about my butt, like how it has been insured. I feel like saying, "Hey, everyone has a butt. It's not that big a deal!" But I suppose it's flattering. Personally, I've always loved the curvy look. Even when I was a little girl and all my friends would be like, "Oh, my god, your butt's so big." And I'd say, "I love it.”

“I want to see you tomorrow, but I don't know what this thing with my parents is going to be like. When you go to lunch, sit so you can see into the Men's section. If my back is turned, I can't meet you. If I'm facing you, I can meet you and the number of plates on my tray is the time I'll be here. What if you can't come till midnight?Then I'm going to look like a fucking idiot.”