“My past was a private obstacle, not a public excuse.”

“With no chance to take off, I had to play my role, searching for the rendezvous spot, which gave me the excuse to look for an escape opportunity. Maybe a hole in the wall too small for Tori’s mom to follow me through or a precarious stack of boxes I could topple onto her head or an abandoned hammer I could brain her with. I’d never “brained” anyone in my life, but with Tori’s mom, I was willing to try.”

“I won't make excuses for what I did. The truth is that your whole life can change with one split-second decision, and it doesn't matter if you told yourself you'd never do it or if you stepped into the moment with no intention of doing it. All it takes is for that one second of absolute panic when the solution shines right there in front of you, and you grab it... only to have it turn into ash in your hand. There is no excuse for what I did.”

“Go out and ask her into the alley.”Clay looked at Jeremy as if he’d just been told to dance the rumba on a public thoroughfare.I bit back a laugh. “Just walk over to her and point at the alley. Maybe say…I don’t know…something like ‘fifty bucks.’ ” I looked at Jeremy. “Does that sound right? Fifty?”His brows shot up. “Why are you asking me?”“I wasn’t—I just meant, as a general…” I threw up my hands. “How am I supposed to know how much a hooker costs?”

“I didn't deserve Jeremy's kindness. I knew that. I suppose that was why I always questioned his motivation. In the beginning, every time he'd done something nice for me, I'd searched for a glimpse of evil behind the kindness, some nefarious motivation. After all, he was a monster. He had to be evil. When I'd realized there was nothing bad in Jeremy, I'd latched on to another excuse: that he was good to me because he was stuck with me, because he was a decent guy and maybe even because he felt some responsibility for what his ward had done to me. If he took me to Broadway plays and expensive dinners for two, it was because he wanted to keep me quiet and happy, not because he enjoyed my company. I wanted him to enjoy my company, but couldn't believe in it because I didn't see much in myself to warrant it.”

“After a moment, he shook his head. “Quickly and mercifully is best. Clay? Go out and ask her into the alley.”Clay looked at Jeremy as if he’d just been told to dance the rumba on a public thoroughfare.I bit back a laugh. “Just walk over to her and point at the alley. Maybe say…I don’t know…something like ‘fifty bucks.’ ” I looked at Jeremy. “Does that sound right? Fifty?”His brows shot up. “Why are you asking me?”“I wasn’t—I just meant, as a general…” I threw up my hands. “How am I supposed to know how much a hooker costs?”“Your guess is as good as mine.”I sighed. “Fine, fifty bucks sounds good. It’s not like she knows what the going rate is anyway. Just saythat and nod at the alley. She’ll follow.”Clay continued to stare at us in silent horror.“Oh, for God’s sake, you’re ready to break her neck but you can’t—”“I’ll do it,” Jeremy said, then shot a look my way. “Not that I have any more experience soliciting prostitutes than Clay does.”“Never crossed my mind.”A mock glare, then he headed out.”

“You saw a ghost, didn't you?" he said.To my relief, I managed to laugh. "Hate to break it to you, butthere's no such thing as ghosts."Huh."His gaze traveled around the laundry room, like a cop searchingfor an escaped convict. When he turned thatpiercing look on me, its intensity sucked the backbone out of me.What do you see, Chloe?"I -I-I don't s-s-s-"Slow down." He snapped the words, impatient. "What do theylook like? Do they talk to you?"You really want to know?"Yeah."I chewed my lip, then lifted onto my tiptoes. He bent to listen.They wear white sheets with big eye holes. And they say 'Boo!'" Iglowered up at him. "Now get out of myway."I expected him tosneer. Cross his arms and say, Make me, little girl.His lips twitched and I steeled myself, then I realized he was smiling.Laughing at me.He stepped aside. I swept past him to the stairs.”