“This is so cool," I said loudly as Dad walked away. "Have you met the tattoo artist? Is he hot?" "He's a she," Mom said. "Is she hot? Cause I'm still young, you know. My sexual identity isnt fully formed." "Your father can't hear you anymore, Maya." Mom sighed.”

“This is so cool,” I said as Dad walked away. “Have you met the tattoo artist? Is he hot?“He’s a she,” Mom said.“Is she hot? Cause I’m still young, you know. My sexual identity isn’t fully formed.”

“Yes you're getting your tattoo." I threw my arms around Dad's neck. "Thank you!" "Hey," Mom said. "I'm the one who had to persuade him it wasn't turning his little girl into a streetwalker." "I never said that," Dad said. "No?" I said. "Cool. Cause I've decided to skip the paw print. I'm thinking of a tramp stamp with flames that says 'Hot in Here.' No wait. Arrows. For directionally challenged guys”

“Ooh, big day in town for our park warden,” I said. “They’re even making you wear the uniform.Hayley’s mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it.”Dad turned as red as his hair.Mom’s laugh floated out from her studio. “Maya Delaney. Leave your father alone.”

“Another night then,' Mom said. 'Maybe on the weekend we can have a barbecue and invite your sister.' 'Or,' I said turning to Rafe, 'if you want to skip the whole awkward meet-the-family social event you could just submit your life story including your view on politics religion and every social issue imaginable along with anything else you think they might need to conduct a thorough background check.' Mom sighed. 'I really don't know why we even bother trying to be subtle around you.' 'Neither do I. It's not like he isn't going to realize he's being vetted as daughter-dating material.' Rafe grinned. 'So we are dating.' 'No. You have to pass the parental exam first. It'll take you awhile to compile the data. They'd like it in triplicate.' I turned to my parents. 'We have Kenjii. We have my cell phone. Since we aren't yet officially dating I'm sure you'll agree that's all the protection we need.' Dad choked on his coffee.”

“Tori walked toward the bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her give Derek a once-over."You know, from this angle, he doesn't look too bad," she said.I glared at her."I'm just saying . . ."I leaned over Derek, calling him as loudly as I dared."Personally, I'm more a running back girl myself," Tori said. "But if you like the linebacker type, he's--"My glower shut her up”

“Yes," I said "You were saved by a girl. Horrible, isn't it?"He slid out and looked down at my bare legs. "Not just a girl, but a half-naked one. Now that's hot. If I'm still unconscious, don't wake me, okay?”