“Six flights up I smelled it. Faint at first and then gradually stronger - the eye-watering stench of fermented sugar. I felt like I was walking into a distillery, and that clued me in as to who we were visiting. [...] I'm still waiting for some brave soul to start marketing Gremlin Piss Schnapps.”

“I hate when I'm on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle”

“We have a six-month-old son. When he was first born and I was walking him, I kept on running into these guys in the neighborhood. They were always like, "Hey dude, welcome to the club!" And I'm like, "Wow, what club did I join?" It confused me and I didn't feel comfortable with it at all. How could something so organic - what is more organic than the birth of a human being? - turn into a "club"? But then suddenly it struck me and I was like, "Wait a minute! I'm a fucking punk!" I've always felt like a freak, it's just that I had never a parent before. And I realized that these were the same dudes who used to say, "What's with your hair? Are you a fag?".”

“It was starting to smell really good in here. And if I liked what it smelled like, then they were liking what they were smelling, and ah…that would be me.”

“I liked you the first time I saw you. You were sitting on the floor surrounded by books, and you looked up when I opened the door and smiled right at me. It felt like you had been waiting for me, like you were welcoming me home.”

“We were both young when I first saw you. I close my eyes and the flashback starts. I'm standin' there on a balcony in summer air.”