“Colonel Matterson reading from wrinkled scripture of that long yellow hand:The flag is America. America is the plum. The peach. The watermelon. America is the gumdrop. The pumpkin seed. America is television. Now, the cross is Mexico. Mexico is the walnut. The hazelnut. The acorn. Mexico is the rainbow. The rainbow is wooden. Mexico is wooden.Now, the green sheep is Canada Canada is the fir tree. The wheat field. The calendar.The night is the Pacific Ocean.”

“Dig deep into its communitarian ethos and it reads more like an America that might have been, an America fervently devoted to the quaint goals of working together and getting along. Of course, this America does exist. It's called Canada.”

“Everything endsIn Mexico Mexico,An excellent place to die.Come some day and tryMexico.”

“B.C. sat back in his chair. “Whatever America needs, the world will supply. Cocaine? Colombia steps to the plate. Shortage of farmworkers, corn detasselers? Thank God for Mexico. Baseball players? Viva Dominicana. Need more interns? India, Philippines zindabad”

“Because of the "city upon a hill" sound bite, "A Model of Christian Charity" is one of the formative documents outlining the idea of America. But dig deep into its communitarian ethos and it reads more like an America that might have been, an America fervently devoted to the quaint goals of working together and getting along. Of course, this America does exist. It's called Canada.”

“Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada?”